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Sex is a natural human desire, that when approached with a positive and healthy attitude, can bring both partners physical bliss and emotional happiness. Although the stereotypical narrative surrounding sex culture associates a man’s desire for sex with pleasure and a woman’s with commitment or procreation, there are many women who desire sex for personal…
Sex is a natural human desire, that when approached with a positive and healthy attitude, can bring both partners physical bliss and emotional happiness. Although the stereotypical narrative surrounding sex culture associates a man’s desire for sex with pleasure and a woman’s with commitment or procreation, there are many women who desire sex for personal enjoyment far beyond what we’ve been lead to believe.
Whether you’re having safe sex with a casual partner, or are making love in a committed relationship, understanding the female mind and body is a sure-fire way to ensure a woman’s needs and desires are met. Admittedly, making sure sex is an experience that is enjoyed by both people involved can make it all the more worthwhile.
With National Orgasm Day on July 31st and International Female Orgasm Day on August 8th, what better time to talk about what most women want men to know about sex:
We all know that for most women, Cosmo is their gospel to most things sex-related, and their guide to having romantic sex is telling in what women want and expect during sex.
For some women, sex is thought to be the most profound form of love and connection. So men, instead of going hard and fast, try slowing things down and focusing on a passionate experience that will intensify her sexual arousal.
Things as little and straightforward as maintaining eye contact or gently running your fingers over her skin can go a long way. The experts at Cosmo even suggest uttering playful, pillow talk, or moaning her name while making love to experience a powerful emotional connection.
It’s all about establishing a mutual connection and a silent agreement between the two of you, communicating that you are solely focused on one another.
The act of penetration during sex rarely is enough to satisfy a woman. Instead, they often need other stimulation to help get them to satisfaction. Foreplay is an integral part of being intimate, especially for women.
Foreplay is when you can allow your creativity to come into play, set a mood, and allow both of you to have some fun. You can start with a massage and gently caress or stroke different parts of her body. Even some neck kissing or ear nibbling can drive you into a full-blown, hot, and steamy make-out session.
Let your imagination run wild, do some research about pleasurable foreplay, and have a conversation about what you both would enjoy.
It’s common for men to struggle with issues like erectile dysfunction; however, women also face similar problems for getting in the mood. That said, men have been abundantly lucky that Viagra is well-known and so mainstream. But that’s nowhere near the case for women, yet.
What a lot of people don’t realize is that there is an FDA-approved treatment for sexual dysfunction for women too; it’s called Addyi, and it helps to treat low sexual desire and boost libido in women. Don’t be shocked if you see your female partner take one and make sure she doesn’t feel ashamed because she is; low libido is actually one of the top complaints about female sexual health.
Yes, you read that right. It’s safe to assume several men have experienced the misfortune at least once of suffering from a case of “blue balls” — a pain in the testicles after having an erection without an orgasm.
But this discomfort isn’t limited to men. When women are sexually aroused, there is an increased rush of blood flow to the vagina, clitoris, and labia. If women don’t reach orgasm, they feel a similar aching similarly called “blue vulva.”
Great sex is a balancing act of giving and taking. If you can help it, make sure she achieves orgasm before you do. If the sex was too good and you just can’t help but to ejaculate, you can still make her orgasm post-penetration by clitoral stimulation from your hands, tongue, or sex toy like a vibrator.
Despite what you’ve seen in porn, on TV, or in the movies, women don’t always reach climax just from going to pound town. As a matter of fact, only one-quarter of women orgasm during sex; the other three-quarters require direct stimulation of the clitoris.
You can help her have that fantasy orgasm by caressing her clitoris, but it’s important to be gentle as it contains as many touch-sensitive nerves as the head of the penis.
If your fingers simply don’t have the magic touch, consider using a vibrating silicone ring that you slip around your penis with a tiny vibrator attached. The pulsing will feel great for you, and it will stimulate her clitoris during intercourse.
Don’t forget the lube. Lubrication is an important part of sexual arousal as it makes the female (and male) genitals more erotically sensitive, ultimately helping women achieve an orgasm.
A lot of people go into sex thinking that they are tasked with giving more than they receive. For both men and for women, this thought needs to be flipped on its head.
Knowing that you are giving pleasure to your partner is just as powerful as receiving pleasure from them; it’s important to find a balance there. While there are selfish lovers whose least concern is putting their partner in the mood, especially when they themselves are already sexually aroused, the case may also be that they actually just don’t know what your expectations are in the sheets.
It’s important to communicate about what you both want and need and to compromise when necessary. Give as much as you receive and receive as much as you give. Treat pleasures equally, so you both are satisfied.
Everyone wants a little recognition of a job well done once in a while. Of course, this applies to sex too. Something as simple as moaning, saying her name or paying her compliments during sex makes her feel good, which empowers her to continue making you feel good.
Even if she’s doing something that you would prefer a little differently, address it with a positive spin. You can rock the bed without rocking the boat if you take the right approach by telling her what you do want rather than what you don’t want: Faster. Slower. More. Less. You can even show her by saying, “Here, like this…”
Communicating will make you both entirely more pleased and satisfied in the end. Remember: you might be hard, but sex doesn’t have to be.